Difficult people are hard to love. This makes having healthy relationships with them challenging. Read as: a pain the ass, thorn in the side, fun as a sharp stick in the eye, or all of the above. Everyone has at least one difficult relationship. And probably the most challenging relationship is the one between parents and their adult children.
New Year’s Resolutions, 2017, and Beyond
I don’t do resolutions. I gave up the practice a long time ago. Maybe it’s just me, but by the time February rolls around, I’m too consumed with surviving the public shame of not having a proper Valentine to remember a promise to improve some aspect of my behavior that I made after three glasses of champagne on New Year’s Eve. I can’t recall exactly when I tossed the promise to lose weight long. It doesn’t really matter as I’ve kinda become accustomed to my new cherub-bod. It’s growing on me. Literally.
December 24, 2004, I sat alone in my room at the Doubletree hotel in Boston and ended a phone call with my family in Orlando. I summoned as much cheer as possible from my aching body to wish them a merry Christmas Eve. I didn’t fool them at all.
Some people get all bent out of shape by use of the phrase “happy holidays.” I suppose it’s because they prefer others greeted them exclusive with the phrase “merry Christmas” this time of year or not at all. Personally, it makes me happy when people wish me good tidings of great joy (or any amount, for that matter).
It Was the Best of Times, It Was the Worst of Times
The moment you utter the words, “This will be the best [insert your favorite high pressure goal] ever,” you can start weeping and gnashing your teeth because what you’ve done in your momentary glee is implored all forces in the Universe to conspire against you to bring about your complete and utter humiliation. But thank God for provision.
If you don’t take a stand for who you are, what you believe, and share the validity of your experiences, someone else will write a narrative for you that most certainly will not be in your best interest. This post is all about platform.
I’m thrilled to announce my new book, Christmas Is: Mischief and Merriment in Manhattan (Constant Rose Publishing, 2017). My fourth book and first foray into fiction is a comedic, madcap love letter to New York, its inhabitants, and the city’s holiday traditions. The story drops the reader in the middle of the Big Apple just as the Christmas season kicks off and carries him/her on to Christmas Day.
My parents and grandparents used to wield an old maxim when I was a kid: you can’t have your cake and eat it, too. I vaguely understood its meaning as: you can’t everything you want. If I had a cake—a slice, a cupcake, or an entire cake—of course I’d eat it, and that would be the end of that. What needed to be discussed? Ah, the sweetness of youth.
The parallels between understanding matters of race and taking an exam with a pass/fail grading curve are similiar. A bit extreme, but similar. It’s easy to say “you either get it or you don’t.” Granted there’s a whole lot more to it than that, but roll with me on that analogy.
Before we get to the answers, you have understand that given some people’s racial experiences, they’re response of “I’m tired of having to educate white people about my feelings …” is more than a little justified. It is a wholly valid response. I say that not to be dismissive, but we don’t ask a rape victim to recount the experience of having been raped or spell out the emotional horror that follows such an experience simply because we want to know. It’s just not done. Understand, I’m not throwing cold water on anyone’s desire to understand the experience of People of Color, but at its core the experience is human and more relatable then one might first imagine. I say that because, well … People of Color are human just as white people are human.
How come nobody can let the past go and learn to love and respect each other?
A friend of mine who supports leaving Confederate memorials where they are posed that very question a few days ago. And it’s a good question. Why can’t Confederate sympathizers let go of the past? There’s a faction of Americans who believe that removing these memorials is an attempt to erase history of those who fought and died in historic battles. I disagree.